Reflections on the New Year

Updated: Jan 7, 2019

Happy New Year everyone. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a good start so far to the new year. I went on a digital detox from emails, social media etc over Christmas and it felt very good. Not so good when I started back to the 100's of emails but I'm slowly getting through them and it was most definitely worth the break.

I know it's a time of resolutions, changes, detoxes, new habits, etc, etc, and whatever changes you decide to make I wish you the best of luck with them. I'm a big believer in making changes as it's part and parcel of life and in order to grow we need to introduce new things and push ourselves out of our comfort zone from time to time, and a new year seems like the perfect time to do just that.

However, I feel that something that we all lack in this modern world is self-love. What if you were to make this year the year when you would love your Self more, take more care of your Self, spend more time being kind to your Self, honouring your own feelings (regardless of what they may be) and generally just putting your own needs first. You may have noticed I separated and wrote the word "Self" with a capital "S"! According to one version (the Robert Perry version) of "A Course in Miracle's, the Self (with a capital "S") refers to our true identity, while the self (with a small "s") refers to the ego, the self we think we are, the small self we invented. This self was made, not created, is enormously variable and unstable and is in total opposition to our true identity" Perry says that "the little self is the belief that we are tiny, weak and vulnerable, that the world is far bigger and stronger, and that we are more or less at its mercy. However, the truth is you do not need to earn your worth, you are already worthy, perfect and enough. You were put here because you are all of these things and if you can start from this place of "self-worth" and begin to build on it then you will set yourself the best New Year's resolution ever.

The more inner work we do on ourselves the more we will come to recognise that true worth I talk about. I've been doing this inner work for years now and I'm still learning, growing and at times stumbling along the way, but with each passing year, I understand a little bit more of my own self-worth. Something that I have come to learn more and more is that we do not need another course, another degree, another certificate or another diploma (and believe me I have enough of them) in order to prove ourselves, it's only society that tells us that. If you struggle to know where to start or to remain focused then as a life coach that is where I come in. It's the reason I had a life coach myself back in 2006 and then went on to become a life coach a few years later. Some of us achieve more when we are accountable to somebody else. I've already started back working with some clients from last year with more scheduled for next week. The strides, leaps and transformations they are making (sometimes by just taking baby steps) is incredible and I couldn't be prouder of them all as they are of themselves also.

That said, there are enough self-help and self-development books out there along with a ton of youtube videos at your disposal to get you started, and all you need to do is START.

Here are my tips for bringing more self-care and in turn more love into your life:

~ Start every day with a positive thought before you step out of bed

~ Make meditation (or even just 3 long slow deep breaths to begin with) part of your daily routine

~ Allow yourself some self-care treat at least once every week, it could be a long soak in a candlelit bath, a manicure, some uninterrupted time reading a favourite book, quality time in nature and/or with loved ones. 

~ Make a conscious effort to spend time with a loving pet, be it your cat, dog, guinea pig, bird whatever your favourite pet may be

~ Start a journal (if you don't already have one) and commit to writing just one thing in it at the end of every day. In no time you will find just one thing isn't enough!

~ Be kind to you - stop beating yourself up about mistakes you made or things you said. Forgive or ask to be forgiven, learn from it, leave it in the past and move on. 

~ If life is a struggle for you right now or you find yourself with unbearable challenges to cope with, ask for help, knowing that there is strength in asking for help.

~ Keep reminding yourself that you are already enough and you have nothing to prove to anybody (put this on a post-it note on your fridge or somewhere you can see it every day).

Good luck and let me know how you get on.

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